Under The Rug

As I sat in my recliner and read one of my favorite books, I heard something move underneath my feet. I was curious of to what it was, so I got out of my chair, and began to walk around. There was nothing on the rug, nor under it. “What? What’s going on?”  I was utterly confused, so I began walking around my living room, only to see more of nothing.

“Maybe I just heard something? Maybe it was just the feeling of leaning back in my recliner.”
After I had made my assumption, I tried to forget about the whole thing and I went into the kitchen to make a snack. After I came back out, I went back to my chair to resume my reading, while at the same time, enjoy the snack I just made.

Later that night, as I went to fall asleep, there came a big noise. I rushed out of my bed to see what was the matter for such a loud bang, but once again, I searched my entire house, and there was nothing different. Nothing at all. All things remained the same.  Nothing was messed up. Everything was just as organized in my house as it was when I went to bed.

“Was this all in my head? “ I questioned just about everything that happened that evening.
Morning came along, and I thought about what had happened the night before, but I couldn’t remember whether it was a dream, or if it was real.

I questioned myself, once again, and came to the conclusion that all I was thinking about was that the whole thing was a dream, because after I had fallen asleep, that was what I was thinking.
I don’t think it was too realistic. So, I concluded that everything that had happened was a dream.

Until something happened again, later that night.
I was eating some popcorn while I watched T.V, and leaned back in my recliner.
I was really into what I was watching, so I didn’t pay much attention to my surroundings.

Although, from the corner of my eye, I saw my lamp shade move.
“Oh, just leave it”  I thought. “It’s probably just my imagination. I’m thinking about all of this way too much”  So, I continued watching my show, and I tried to ignore my surroundings. When suddenly....
*BOOM!*
“What was that?! This is horrible! I cannot enjoy a second of my spare time without being interrupted. I’m just going to have to leave.”
So that night, I left to a hotel, only to enjoy some of my spare time. When, of course...I went to bed, but I could not sleep. I heard another bang. “Okay, am I being stalked? Is this some kind of joke?”
So, I got my things together and went home and decided to ignore anything that was going to happen.
Once I reached my home, I walked inside and climbed into my bed. The house was quiet. I was  finally at peace. I fell asleep quickly. Everything was perfect. I was all snug in my bed, the house was quiet, and I thought nothing, I repeat NOTHING could go wrong. I decided that I wasn’t going to let anything bug me. And here I felt so independent.
Until, suddenly there was not only a bang, but I heard glass break. I ran out into my living room where I thought I saw my lamp lie on the ground shattered into pieces. “That was my favorite lamp, too! What am I going to do about all of this nonsense?!” I felt furious. I decided to just ignore all of the commotion and go back to bed like I had decided in the first place.

The next morning, I woke up to go clean what I thought was my shattered lamp. “Wait, what? Hold on a second. What is going on?”
The lamp sat still in its place. Nothing around the area was harmed. There was no mess to clean up, nothing was out of place, and everything was perfect. I was MAJORLY confused now.

I grabbed my brief case, and headed out to work.
When I approached work, everything seemed like it wanted to harm me.
I was looked at strangely, and I had no idea why.

Well, when the time approached to go home, I sat back once again in my recliner.
I watched a full hour of T.V with no interruptions. “Hm. This is quite the night. Nothing has gone wrong! What a day!”
But of course....
Something was moving under my chair. “Get out! Get out!” I screamed.
I got out of my chair, and grabbed another chair to smash whatever “it” was, with.
But it disappeared.  “That’s it! I’m going to the doctor! SOMETHING is up. I’ve had enough already!”

So, here I was in the doctors office, wondering what was wrong. “Well...” The doctor said, “It seems to me that you have a severe case of schizophrenia.”
“What’s schizophrenia?”  I wondered.
Just then, I decided to ask, but the doctor had left the room to grab something.

So, I turned around and said....”Hey, bob! What’s? Schizophrenia?”